A Day After Day 30 - Lessons Learned

*sigh* Well... I expected to gorge myself today. I didn't... here's what I DID do, however:

I started with cereal. It was horrible. It was one of my usual (PRE-30 Days) cereals - Honey & Almond Granola, and it was Cascadia Farms Organic. Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that brand. In fact, if you're going to eat cereal, that's a great brand. It's all organic ingredients, including the sweet parts, which is good. I'm not even sure if there is a preservative in it that's not organic. What was horrible for me was the sweet... it was TOO sweet for me now. I felt like I was starting my day with dessert... it just felt...well... wrong. So, tomorrow, I'll have my oatmeal with raisins, cinnamon, nuts, and a touch of honey.

For lunch, I had quinoa w/ raisins, spinach, almonds, red onion, greek yogurt, olive oil, lemon juice, and a little garlic. VERY Mediterranean. A small bit of cottage cheese on the side was a nice addition.

I did not have dinner tonight. Frankly, I'm not hungry. I should eat, but I just don't want to. Instead, I'm having a nice, hot tea.

In between, however, I enjoyed more than one little Reese's Peanut Butter cup. In fact, I had 2 small ones today, along with a Reese's egg, and an Almond Joy egg. My "lady time" is coming, and I am finally able to cave to my chocolate craving. And I don't feel guilty. Whaddaya think 'o that?????

I don't want anymore chocolate. I treated myself, and now I feel as if it's enough, and may be for quite awhile.

Here is what I've learned...

• Eating fresh is expensive. I've spent almost twice on my grocery bill as to what I normally spend each month, and sadly, it was all for me. Very little for my family. Organic Milk, expensive and doesn't taste the same to me. I'll get used to it, but I miss my regular 2% milk. Can my conscience allow me to drink milk from farms that treat their milk cows the way so many farms do? Sadly, I'm not sure. I'll look for brands that are friendlier, with more heart.
• Fresh eggs from a farm and not in your grocer's case? Yep. I'm all for it and will continue. There is something very satisfying and loving in visiting the birds that seem to enjoy puttering around with each other, freely, fat & sassy, and with lots of energy. Almost smiling. They come to you excitedly. They don't run away. They are happy to see you. For that, I am grateful to my new friends Misty and Matt. May we always have a happy "Egg" relationship! (which reminds me... almost time to make another visit!)
• Cooking fresh takes time, patience, and skill... all of which I do not have enough of. You can't just open a box of something and dump it in the boiling water. Fresh veggies go quick in the saute pan, no doubt. No thawing, no prepping other than chopping, and everything cooks quickly. However, doing that 7 days in a row, and not being skilled & experienced enough to pull together new things is a downfall that I have right now. With more time, I'll find interesting recipes that I'll be familiar enough to make quickly.
• You must plan... fresh foods w/ no preservatives "turn" in a short time, so buying in bulk is out of the question, and you must plan in order to use them up before that happens. Maybe pickle the carrots, onions, tomatoes, and cukes... but that is something I don't know how to do yet. Dinners planned just for me is a tough thing to do. Most recipes are for several people, and trying to cut them back to feed just one is tough. Even with leftovers, you still have to move on them, and frankly, I was tired of the same thing as I tried to use them up.
• Be patient with yourself... some days, I was inspired to do great things. Others, I was just tired and searching for something to go with a piece of cheese. On those days, I was angry at myself.
• You can't be lazy when eating fresh, or you'll fall into the same rut as I did...
• The body has to adjust... one must be ready to feel up & down... just like any other change in nutritional habits, we have to experiment when it comes to making a change like this. I needed to allow myself to feel different and not dislike myself for it.
• Food is emotional! I love myself now for sticking with it and being good to myself, but some nights in bed, I loathed myself for wanting a big 'ol PB&J Sammitch!!! Or a box of crackers with a vat of store-bought hummus. I didn't eat it, but it's what I thought about until I dozed off.
• After awhile, cravings go away for the most part when you fill yourself with the good stuff. If I wanted cereal, I would eat a piece of fruit, or make myself a power shake with Ice cold cocoa soymilk and fruits & yogurt. It hit the sweet spot.
• Finally, I learned that this is not as far off my normal eating habits as what I thought it would be. It did cut out a few things that I usually gnosh on, and made eating out nearly impossible, but other than purchasing different brands so that it was organic, (Yogurt, milk, etc.) it is pretty much the same.

What I DO wish I could have done was more yoga this past week. My schedule is still tight, but my buns aren't!

I do love myself. I love who I've become, I love that I can follow a regiment on my own, and feel good about it. I love that my family is SO AWESOMELY supportive of these crazy things I do!!! I love that I have the best cheerleaders in the world in my daughter and my life partner. I love that I seem to have the respect of friends and co-workers, and they aren't looking at me like I'm a freak, but rather someone that is educated and knowledgeable on the subject. And I really love the fact that it isn't all about food, but it's about life. A WAY of life that includes a lot of love, a lot of dignity, respect for our world and our environment. Care for our local farmers, for the livestock, for life itself.

I am SO GRATEFUL, and I hope that more folks will join me in seeing what we can all accomplish together. I'll continue this route for as long as it feels right for me. Much love, Blessings, and Positive, White-light Healing energy to all!!!! Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions, and maybe want to join me in the next adventure!!!!

Stacy Milheiser

Vegetarian, Optimist, Mom, Life Partner, Cheerleader, and "Prana-Mama" (and none of those things necessarily in that order!)

Days 27, 28, & 29 - Chocolate, I've missed you!

For the past three days, I've had the cravings... not the sugar cravings, not the carb cravings, but the chocolate cravings. I know. Sugar/Chocolate/Carbs... what's the difference?

Tomorrow is Day 30. The final day.

Tomorrow, I'll give my summation. Tonight, I'll rest. I've been lazy all week, but I know it's because I've not taken the time to eat properly.

This weekend was a chance for me to try some Thai food... Um... YUM!!! I added more & more chili sauce and lime juice to it... although it was "heat", it was amazing flavor!!! Loved the flavor, and allowed the heat to make my lips sweat. :)

This morning, nuts, eggs, homemade wheat Irish Soda Bread, and cheese. (much too heavy to start off the day!) Lunch was grilled eggplant w/ roasted red peppers, feta, and pesto. On the side, a salad of fresh spinach, fennel, endive, carrot, apples, almonds, and topped with a tablespoon of organic balsamic vinagraitte. Dinner was apples & Havarti on said bread, and a tablespoon of natural/organic peanut butter drizzled w/ honey.

Hot tea.

Here's the thing... I cheated. It's day 29, and I had a handful of jellybeans, topped by a Hershey's coconut kiss. It's not a failure... it's Easter Sunday, and I GOTS t' have me some Easter candy, even if it IS just a little taste. :) You see, this hasn't been a time of punishment or guilt... it's been a time of experimentation, and my normal eating habits were simply challenged.

More on my final day. Tonight, I read, and I rest. And I smile on this past month. :)

Days 25 & 26 - The "Ice Cream" on the Corner

I had a boyfriend, many years ago, that was a really fun guy to be around. He could dance like no one I'd ever danced with before, or since. Although we didn't work out, there was one thing I wish I could have taken with me and given to every other boyfriend I had after him, and that was his ability to lead. He was so good that I had my girlfriends dance with him at least once before the night was up. He wasn't afraid to hold you close, find that button in your back that actually moved you where he needed you to go, and suddenly, you melted into him and you were Ginger Rogers. We danced well to all music, but he was especially talented during the blues. You wouldn't think that the blues would make you want to dance, but it did. When we held onto each other and moved on that floor, we CLUNG to each other, and MAN were we BLUE. People stopped drinking at their candlelit tables and watched us... others on the dance floor stepped aside so we could have more room to spin, dip, and stretch open, then pull faster back together. And the best dancing we did was to slow music, filled with deep emotion and sadness... it was prophetic in its way...

I hurt that guy... pretty badly, I hurt him. I was a selfish, uncaring person back then. I was too introspective. I was too analytical. I looked for reasons that it wouldn't work, and it was all because I liked ice cream. I didn't just "like" ice cream... I LOVED ice cream! I loved the creaminess, the cold, the sweetness, the rich flavors, the wide variety of ice cream, the ways you could dress it up, the pairings that could happen. I loved the creativity of a sundae. (You know, he wasn't actually hurt because of "ice cream"... that's only a metaphor for something else)

I always thought there was something "better" out there.. something that I just hadn't tasted yet. And each time a new flavor of "ice cream" came along and beckoned me, I just HAD to try it. No will power... no self control. I was young. I made odd choices very often with no purpose, other than a self-fulfillment and satisfaction that I thought I would find. In reality, there was nothing fulfilling about all that ice cream, and the kicker is, the more you eat, the less satisfied you feel. You always want more and more and more, until it makes you sick.

Cravings for ice cream and junk have, for the most part in my life, faded to a minimum. I realize that the very best that life has to offer is really very simple, clean, and pure. Pick it at its peak, treat it respect, don't dress it up with a bunch of extra stuff that will only mask what it truly is. Allow it to ripen with a lot of love and care, and I promise, it will be the richest thing you've ever tasted. And the VARIETY is unbelievable, if you just let it happen and allow it to permeate you.

I don't analyze anymore. I relax, and know that I have all the ice cream I need or want. I don't have to look inside myself to try to find answers... they just happen naturally, and I already know they come from me. I don't sit and ponder the reasons behind everything. That's just too tiresome and pointless... I'll know what I need to know, when I need to know it.

I still dance... I hope he does too.